The Knowledge of Pleasure

Trying to learn about the virtues of pleasure (especially sexual pleasure) is like trying to learn about life in general: we can acquire all the theoretical knowledge in the world, but we know nothing until we experience it empirically. Theoretical knowledge is a valuable tool we use to prepare for possible eventualities, but if there’s one thing human reality likes to repeatedly prove, it’s that it’s not always governed by linear or logical rules or determinations.

If simple theoretical knowledge were the secret to humanity’s salvation, everyone would have already reached the same conclusions, created the same rules and laws, and no one would ever risk doing anything outside the defined procedures (and defined by whom?). But, as has been (and continues to be) demonstrated repeatedly throughout our history, even when one knows a lot (and sometimes even precisely because one knows), there is always someone who dares to confront reason, challenge convention, and push boundaries.

### And that, as far as I’m concerned, is the true definition of “knowing that one knows nothing.”

More than admitting our ignorance, it’s about living with the understanding that the world and reality are far broader, more undefined, and more surprising than anyone could ever know with scientific certainty, accepting that reality is above all composed of more doubts than certainties.

Bridged to the universe of sexuality and eroticism, my interest in this point of “doubts about certainties” is related to the experience of sharing knowledge, both theoretical and empirical, whether in a consultation context or on a personal level, which has yielded the most fascinating results.

In my quest to always learn more about these topics, I dedicate a large part of my time to reading not only scientific publications but also philosophical essays, works of fiction, poetry, opinion articles, and other sources, such as documentaries, films, plays, performances, etc., in order to try to understand sexuality and eroticism not only from a demonstrative and analytical perspective, but also (and above all) from the perspective of the “user,” of the one who loves, feels, desires, fantasizes, dreams, and, in fact, has sex. In this sense, despite the vast scientific references, philosophical theories, and even spiritual conceptions that can fuel a conversation about these topics, the reality of each person tends to strongly override abstract concepts. Especially when the topic involves a relationship with someone.

In the process of helping someone discover the right path to their pleasure, even with all the information at their disposal, what defines the success of this discovery is the ability to make the right choices in everyday life. When, where, how, with what determination, and with what physical and mental intentionality are crucial factors that tend to “teach” more about someone’s truth than mere information or suggestions. The consequences of these choices and the actions that accompany them create new interpretations of this information and new criteria for future choices, which positively or negatively reinforce each subsequent decision.

In other words, it is not only knowledge that defines knowledge, but above all its application in reality and the management of its consequences.

### And this is, in fact, the essence of human development, whether at the sexual or existential level.

The acquisition, sharing, and, above all, the application of knowledge, is what allows us to consolidate or doubt the knowledge we acquire and create what, for each of us, is our true knowledge. This is why, even with the most varied studies and analyses done on human sexuality, there are always variations and uncertainties that reveal its true richness and complexity, which can vary not only between people, but also in the various moments of their intimate lives. In sexuality, there is always room for discoveries and experimentation. Nothing is ever 100% true, nor should it be expected to be. And in the imaginative and creative universe of eroticism, certainties are even fewer.

### Experienced reality is better understood.

Theoretical knowledge, even when consistent and clear, should serve only as a guide, much more useful for the subconscious than for active thought (example: knowledge of human anatomy does not mean knowledge of the anatomy of all humans). Similarly, the importance of a cultural education that encompasses diverse viewpoints through personal artistic expressions creates the possibility of indirectly “living” different experiences, real or imagined, which contributes to building an empirical base of knowledge without the gravity of “real” consequences.

In short, knowledge emphasizes pleasure, in the sense that it integrates it into something greater than just a brief moment. While pleasure for pleasure’s sake is often a futile subterfuge and knowledge for knowledge’s sake can be a bottomless pit, knowledge for pleasure is fundamentally an art, where curiosity and creativity open space for experimentation and discovery, and where fears, mistakes, challenges, and the unknown can contribute to making this knowledge even more genuine and constructive.

Curious to learn more? Book an Erotic Coaching session.